letting go of my 30 before 30 list

I copied the internet. I made a 30 before 30 list.

And, boy, did I cross things off that list. I did 30 for-real push-ups in a row, bound a photo book for my baby, wrote a love song for my husband, and was well on my way to planning a scuba-diving trip and learning a nerdy amount of Latin verbs.

But last month—I threw out the list.

I'll tell you why. I read an article that I've thought about probably every day for a month now. I let myself imagine: What would life look like if I nixed my list and went with just ONE goal? What would that goal be?

Easy. Number One on my 30 before 30 list.

It's always been at the top of the list. But #7 seemed easier to measure and #15 was more fun. And all the rest were awesome projects and plans, but they took enough time that Number One was not gonna get done.

So the list is gone. I tore it out of the front of my planner where I've checked in pretty consistently over the last several months. And I replaced it with a note to myself:

And I'm not saying here what it is until it's finished. But you can guess...

Everything beyond Goal #1 is fluid. That doesn't mean I'm being lazy. I'm actually accomplishing more than I was before—and feeling more peace when I pursue something that's not on my  list.

Because there is no list.

I'm not saying everyone should get rid of their bucket list. Or goals. I'm not saying this is the best idea for everyone, all the time. After all, some of the 30 before 30 lists I've seen out there seriously kick butt. And my friends' lists impress and delight me.

I'm just saying that I'm happier. And feeling a little more free these days.

I'm also saying that this article is worth a read. If you don't read the whole list, make sure you read numbers 1 and 3. Life-changers. No, seriously—stop procrastinating and go read them.

ready for a new list

I don't think I've ever been as excited to make my list of New Year's goals as I am this year. I think my excitement has much to do with the fact that I wrote last year's goals in the front of my planner and then referred back to them nearly once a week during 2009, if I got bored in church. So my goals actually meant something all year long AND kept me entertained in sacrament meeting.

The weekly review kept me on track: here I am at the end of the year with a completed master's thesis, a large number of lit journal rejection slips, and a stack of family history papers completely updated.

Weekly review also helped me revise some goals along the way: in July, after we found out I was pregnant, I had to cross out "lose 25 pounds" and replace it with "have a baby."

In some cases, weekly goal review didn't help me much: turns out, I'm still an inconsistent blogger and a crappy visiting teacher. If you've got any tips on how to get better at either of these, I'm open for suggestions.

Until then, I'm off to finish making my list for 2010. By this time next year, you'll be surprised by how many push-ups I can do.