motherhood will teach me this again, won't it

I made a long list of things I needed (read: wanted) to accomplish before the baby came.

Then the universe laughed at me. No, our gummi bear did not come early. I just got super sick. I've spent the last week moving from my bed to my couch and back again, with detours to the bathroom for more tissues and throat lozenges.

And the list?

Maybe it was a bit ambitious—even for a healthy pregnant lady. Looks like I planned on sewing, cooking, cleaning, writing, and decorating everything in the universe until the second the baby crowned. I'm working on deleting some items from the list.

I do this often: make plans too big for any person and then feel disappointed when I find out I'm not superhuman. Kind of like this little frustration:

I took on a project I wasn't prepared for, with instructions that were difficult to follow, and expected myself to finish in an afternoon. It eventually turned out, but only after weeks of tearing out seams and sewing them back up again crooked. I probably should have re-evaluated my progress halfway through and just gone to the store to buy a stupid diaper bag like a normal person.

I have a feeling that motherhood will demand that I re-evaluate and abandon overblown plans more often than I currently do. Just like this week's virus made me chuck my list, my little gummi bear will do the same when she throws up or falls down or just wants me to put down the to-do list to cuddle with her. I hope I figure it out.


Genevieve Beck said...

If you are anything like me, those first couple of months will just be to get your bearings. Make sure you fit in time to sleep, eat, and shower, and beyond that is just a gold star. After a routine gets started, I found that I had to have a balance of having a long list of things I wanted to work on so I could do them when Timothy was asleep, but at the same time couldn't be so stuck on them that I felt he was in my way when he woke up. It'll be a great first year, but it is definitely a whole new routine. Hope you're feeling better soon--so sorry to hear you're sick.

janel said...

I feel like this is an observation I am just barely learning. Way to figure it out 6 years earlier than me. You are going to be a great mom.

eden said...

so sorry you're sick! i hope you feel well soon.

Nicholas James West said...

You and my wife...

I love you.

Deja said...

Hey, but SUPER cute diaper bag, no? I mean, that's something, too: maybe we overextend and our plans get muddied, but we still make beautiful things. Gold star for you now, says me.

faith said...

Realizing there's a lesson to be learned is the first step of learning it! Good for you. I think if we're all honest with ourselves, it's something we all keep learning. But, hey, you got the bag done and it looks great!

andi said...

Let's see...judging by experience only:

"I have a feeling that motherhood will demand that I re-evaluate and abandon overblown plans more often than I currently do." : It will.

"I hope I figure it out." : You will.


Adrienne said...

You will be an amazing mother. Take naps and snuggle with that little girl as much as you can without feeling an ounce of guilt for other things that you could be doing, because those tiny newborn days go by so fast.

PS I will be in SLC for the next week and a half so what I want to know is do you feel like eating? And if so, chocolate or fruit based desserts?

Danielle said...

This is EXACTLY what motherhood is all about... and you're going to be great. I'm so excited to hear about baby.

Bryson and Tara said...

Oh, I love you, Kathy! You amaze me with how talented you are and how much you're able to do. Yes, motherhood does have a way of teaching you that you can't really control a lot of things...and that it's ok.

I'm so sorry you're sick. Being sick is terrible. Being sick and pregnant is the pits. Please let me know if I can do anything for you!

The bag looks adorable, by the way! :)

Mike and Lauren said...

The bag is Amazing. Capital A on purpose. You really did such a great job. And, yes...motherhood will teach you that very much. As hard as it is, you have to realize that life and accomplishments are now measured extremely different, and having a happy, loved, fed, safe little baby is a huge one.

Sorry to have added one more thing on that list while you were sick.

I can't wait for little gummi to come!!