After the baby came and I started feeling overwhelmed with my unrealistic expectations of myself, we made an Everything List—a list of everything that needs to happen (daily, weekly, monthly) to keep our lives in order—and split things up.
We had already gravitated to certain tasks. I like taking care of the laundry. He takes out the garbage because I never, ever remember. He's good at making sure bills are paid. I'm good at calling the insurance company.
We divided up the ignored duties and devised a plan to jointly tackle cleaning the bathroom, a dreaded chore for each of us.
Then we got to the last unclaimed item: clean the car.
I looked at him. He looked at me. And because we knew neither of us would do it, we just crossed it off the list.
I'm delighted for a few reasons. First, it's like we're real grown-ups; we'll decide, not when, but IF we'll clean our car. And second, I knew (again) in that moment that I'd married the right guy. Sure, we disagree at times, but not about fundamentals—like who's going to waste their Saturday afternoon vacuuming floor mats.
Three years ago yesterday, we drove away from a big party in this car, that we may or may not have cleaned since then, and that we don't plan to anytime soon.
(Thanks for marrying me, love.)