some things are hard to photograph

This is the only picture from our tiny roadtrip last weekend, and it wasn't technically taken until we got home:


We needed a break—even from taking pictures, I guess.

As some of you already know, Christopher lost his job last week. The chocolate factory was his dream job of sorts, which made the lay-off that much more disappointing.  

So we drove to southern Utah and walked around in the hills.

We came back without a single picture from our change of scenery. No photo of our baby girl toddling up the trail, holding her daddy's hand high above her head. No footage of her screaming in delight at the riverbank, with sand between her fingers. No photo of the seriously kick-A food and generous hosts at my sister-in-law's house.

I lamented my lack of documentation, but I think it was enough just to be there together for a minute.

We up and moved here for this job. We settled into some ideas and dreams for this job. We even had a monthly chocolate budget because of this job. It was like, wait a minute, this isn't the plan—we haven't taken any pictures yet.

I don't think a picture would do anything justice anyway. There's something inspiring (and impossible to photograph) about watching your best friend be gracious and tactful and brave—especially when you feel like you wouldn't be if it were you. I don't know how to take a picture of that.

I'm appreciating being in this space together for a minute, this unplanned moment when the world's wide open and we're not sure yet how the scenery will change.

10 comments:

Amy said...

This is really great writing, Kathy. I'm really sad to hear about the job-- as much as you know it will all work out in the end, those moments of disappointment are hard. We're thinking about you guys. Let's hang out soon.

Genevieve Beck said...

I agree, that is beautiful writing. I'm so sorry to hear about the job. We'll definitely pray for good things to come.

Jessica said...

Oh Kathy I can't believe that. That's so terrible. Gosh it's hard to understand what Heavenly Father needs us to learn sometimes. Please know we understand somewhat, about the losing of a job. It all seems to work out best in the end, even though it's super duper hard during it all.

David/Dad/Doc said...

You are in our prayers, literally, not in just the figure of speach way.
Also, before I read the other comments, I was thinking how moving your words were. I am amazed. I am afraid my words would be a bit less eloquent, like: Well that just sucks. I know something good will come from all this. Love you, DAD

Adrienne said...

I agree with your dad. It really does just suck. I wish it didn't. But please don't stop writing, because I love to read your lovely word formations.

janel said...

So sorry--shame on them. Now I will have to stop buying all their chocolate bars from Harmons.

C-|-W said...

You can keep buying Amano. I still wish them the best.

Danielle said...

So sorry to hear about the job. But I bet looking at that sweet little face brings you a smile despite the hardship. Thinking of you.

Mike and Lauren said...

Wow, this post was amazing. I haven't been in the blog world much as of late, and this was such a great way to come back to it. Not because of the situation - but I think this is what blogging is about, being able to write about real life. And sometimes the things that happen in real life are real hard.
We love you guys so much. Let us know if there is anything at all we can help with.

Bryson and Tara said...

I agree with everyone else, Kath. You have such a gift with words. So sorry you guys have to deal with this right now... Thinking about you...